i build these walls. and i act strong all the time. i surround myself with people so i forget about everything. but the minute i’m finally alone, i break. i can’t fucking take this anymore. i am so alone. and broken. and worthless. i’m done acting like it’s okay, cause it’s not. it’s really hard and i can’t fucking do it.
it’s been four years since i’ve seen my dad cry, untill tonight. four years ago it was at his grandma’s funeral. tonight i started crying because i missed my aunt (from the other side of the family) and we had a heart to heart and then he cried because he missed his mom. he told me things i have never heard him confess…
i love my daddy so much.
in major need of reassurance. stressed and overwhelmed and soooo tempted to fall back into old habits:/ i know i can do this, but with zero support from family, and limited support from “friends”, it is so hard to stay on the right track:( blaaahhhh. one more night. i can stay strong for just one more night. we’ll take this day by day..
one of those nights..
chinese food, pajamas, icecream, depressing movies, laptop, and phone off. fuck the world:’(